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External image
Title: White Waters
Author: FPwoper
Artist: supernatastic101
Word count: 16135
Rating: Explicit
Archive Warnings: No archive warnings apply
Major tags: Dean/Cas/Jimmy (ofc), Dean’s extremely low self-esteem, panic attacks, John Winchester’s A+ parenting, BDSM, double penetration, hitting/paddling/caning/spanking (bdsm), bondage, sub drop & dom drop, therapy sessions, open ending, sub!Dean, switch!Jimmy, dom!Cas, Dean is not in a good mental space in this fic, Charlie is Dean’s therapist
Summary: Cas and Jimmy were together, first, but when Dean joins them, the three of them discover that they are even stronger together. Their interests line up as well, and soon they are doing BDSM scenes on the regular. When Dean is tasked with designing their next scene, it doesn’t take long before he knows what he wants to do. However, it’s asking for that which is the hardest part. Will the twins get understand? And how will they react? (And, well, will Dean survive even asking?)
Excerpt: Dean slowly refocuses on the plate in front of him, shoving his food around. He doesn’t have an appetite anymore. He doesn’t deserve it, anyway. He shouldn’t be with the twins, he’s just dragging them down. The fork – he was holding that, right? When did he let go of it? – clatters on the plate, and Castiel whips his gaze away from the kitchen door, and focuses on Dean. Castiel’s reassuring hands are on Dean’s shoulders in less than a second
“What’s wrong, Dean?” he asks, voice urgent. “Are you dropping?”
Dean can’t answer. The panic attack that has been looming the entire day is threatening to overtake him, and breathing is becoming difficult. He knows he’s losing it, and he knows that Castiel and Jimmy can help him through it, but he can’t inconvenience them any more than he’s already done. He can’t do that to them.
“Dean!” Castiel’s voice is slowly working through the fog surrounding his brain, and Jimmy’s is helping, too.
“Breathe with us, Dean,” Jimmy says. The Dom-voice is back, but this time it’s intentional, and Dean instinctively listens to it. He knows the twins want what’s best for him, and even though it causes them more trouble than he’s worth, he wants to listen to them. He can’t disappoint them any further than he’s already done. Together, they manage to get Dean to breathe normally again and they get him to the bed, too.
They cuddle up together, curling around Dean. Dean lies on his back and feels safe and protected, but in the back of his mind, there’s still the voices telling him that he’s really not worth all this hassle, and that he should just leave the twins as soon as possible. He’ll never be good enough for them.